Throwing stones.


January 21, 2011 by Rhi

I made the decision, earlier today, to remove this post. Not because I don’t stand by the words I wrote, but because of the frame of mind I was in when I made it.

A long talk with people I respect, led me to realise that my only motivation was that I felt I had something to prove. Which they’ve made me see that I don’t. I know what is true, and I know that I have done nothing wrong.

What I should have done, right back at the start, was to turn the other cheek. People may manipulate for their own gain – I can’t change that. What I can change is how I respond to that. Fighting fire with fire only destroys things.

One of the hymns we sang this morning was “Dear Lord and Father of Mankind”, which end with a verse talking about the still small voice of calm. It’s that voice I ought to have listened to. When the noise around is deafening, the only response is to speak quietly until someone listens. Otherwise, chaos reigns, and the message is lost.

I am a product of my upbringing, and I’m proud of that. I’ve been taught that to judge is wrong, and to mark other people down because of how they choose to live their lives, is not how it should be. I’ve passed judgment on no-one, and I think most people will find it hard to believe the things I’ve been accused of (thank goodness) – if I’ve been guilty of anything, it’s of being to obvious in my questioning. For that reason, there is nothing for me to refute or deny in anything that’s been posted below the line here. It’s obvious.

Nevertheless – the post has gone. I regret speaking in haste, because I felt there was something that needed to be answered. There isn’t. I know the truth, those whom I love and respect know the truth. And I’ve learned a valuable lesson – that sometimes, people don’t play nice, and that even trying to do the right thing, and speaking out for what you believe in, will result in you being hurt.

The other hymn we sang was “Fight the Good Fight”. And I’ll continue to do that. I’ll just make sure I’m more careful in future, to ensure that my fighting is done in such as way as to not rebound so catastrophically on me and those whom I love. Naivety is something I need to learn to deal with – I assume everyone plays by the same rules as I do.  I am, perhaps, too open in my criticisms. But it’s the only way I know how to be.

There is no need for a charitable donation, Caro, although I appreciate the sentiment. It would seem dishonest, however, to accept when I had already made the decision to remove it. I did not mean to hurt you or cause you stress. I did try to explain that, but I suspect that in the heat of the moment, the wires were crossed. That’s fine. We can never see eye to eye. It’s no reason to be hateful.


The comments will stand for a few days, and then I will remove them too. Quite frankly, I want to erase this whole saga from my mind. I could never have believed one innocent comment could have resulted in this heartache of accusation and hurt. But onwards. Next time, I’ll concentrate on shooting the message, not the messenger.


8 thoughts on “Throwing stones.

  1. Anonamouse says:

    But you are a vicious bitch. What you did to that woman was inforgivable. Its a blessing you haven’t got children I pity the child with you as a mother. Prehaps it’s a good thing your barren?

    I think you need to take a long hard look at yourself. I’ve been told what you said, and what kind of morals you have. Disgusting.

  2. Gemma says:

    and an illiterate coward.

  3. Angela (Geekmama) says:

    Fucking hell, the bastards are out in force. 😦

    Good post Rhi, and well done getting in there with the blog post first 😉


  4. Thank you for the apology. I hope that you will feel able to reconsider the one I extended to you, immediately after you were offended by my question, and which was refused.

    I don’t feel the need to refute what you said. There is not a grain of truth in any of those things you’ve said about me. Not. A. Grain. I’m sorry. I guess the proof is in the reading – those who know me know who I am, and know that I am not a bad person, will be astonished to read that “description” of me (not least of all the Oxbridge part!). To be honest, they are the people who I care about. Their opinion of me is what counts. There was no intellectual argument to lose, I’m afraid. My problem was always with the heartless way in which you express your opinions, and mistaking the ability to shout the loudest as being somehow “righter” than everyone else. This is the only debate I’ve ever been involved in which has descended to this level. You, however, have been in this position many times before, I believe.

    You are blocked on twitter, I have not visited your blog since you made it very clear to me that I was no longer welcome there (after I disagreed with you that gay people are no longer subject to persecution or threat of violence). It’s an indication of the levels your paranoia has reached that you think I have nothing better to do that follow you round the internet. I couldn’t care less what you’re saying – if I can’t see it, it means nothing. Simple as that.

    At the end of the day, this is the internet. We do not know each other. It is not worth it. You aren’t the only person with troubles, and the abuse I’ve received as a result of this event, is breathtaking. You have brought all number of your supporters to my door, with reprehensible personal attacks. All you have accused me of is, in fact, what you’ve done yourself.

    No matter. It’s over. Please leave me alone now, I’ve had enough. All I did was disagree with you.

    • In the short time I have been back debating on BW, I have had my employment status laughed at by you; my degree subject belittled and laughed at; comments I have made regarding my own life lifted, tweeted, and belittled, and jobs I’ve done dismissed as “a little bit of volunteering”. I have no problems with my own opinions – I know they are based in truth, and I stand by everything I’ve said, and I’m confident that reproduction of them won’t reflect badly on me in any way.

      Sadly, I have now had to change my twitter account and leave BW, courtesy of the untruths that have been spread around. I have been forced to erase you as best I can, because the comments keep coming. Someone, via email, wished every child I have would die, so it wouldn’t have to have me as a mother. Isn’t that a lovely thing to happen, simply because I asked if the reason your child could afford higher education, is because they have a trust fund? Any stressed cause has been entirely of your own making. If you exercised more truth in your writings, perhaps people wouldn’t be quite so annoyed with you? You will note, your comments have been allowed to stand. That’s more respect that you offer to others.

      This is the last I’ll say on the subject, and the last I’ll expect to hear. Now please, go away, and call off your henchmen. You’ve made your point, I won’t question you ever again. There is nothing to question – if you can’t debate things truthfully, without derision or belittling of others views, then your views are worthless. You’ve lost before you begin, because no one of any influence in my life believes a word that you say.

  5. I have decided to let these comments stand. I cannot post links to refute the claims in them, because to do so would compromise the anonymity of others who frequent the membership only forum.

    However, I feel that it’s important to let them be. I don’t condone of censorship. Removing them, even after the blog has been removed, serves as a reminder of the price of free speech.

  6. […] Mar Remember this little incident? Not wishing to stir it all up again, but this week the person involved has again been making […]

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